Never Alone
by Jeanniefan78
Summary: Sequel to "The Dilemma". After a summer of keeping silent, Kate finally fesses up to Gibbs how she feels about him retiring from NCIS. Set during the events of the 2nd episode of the 4th season, "Escaped".
1. Chapter 1

**NEVER ALONE**

**Written by: Jeanniefan78/April**

**Author's Note:** _This was written for two NFA challenges: Sarah's "Kiss Me, Kate" challenge and Kelly's "Let it Go" challenge._

_This story is the sequel and follow-up to my story, "The Dilemma". That story surrounded the Hiatus events and this story surrounds the event of the 2__nd__ episode of the 4__th__ season, "Escaped", but written in AU fashion. It will include some actual dialogue from the episode, but I take no credit for that writing. I hope you will all enjoy this story. _:D

It has now been nearly four months since Gibbs's terrifying accident. Although grateful to have her husband alive and now, awaiting the arrival of their baby, Kate still can't help but feel depressed.

The preceding summer months had actually been fun and relaxing for them, with visiting Kate's family and then, vacationing in Mexico.

But now, reality is settling in. Gibbs wasn't gonna change his mind and return to NCIS. She thought for sure he would after he'd had a chance to think about things. She thought she had seen a glimmer of hope when he left Mexico to help Ziva out of a jam, but when he returned, he still seemed the same as he had been all summer. Kate knew by then that it was no use.

"Are you sure you want to throw this away?," Kate asks, sadly, holding up a wooden object.

"I'm sure."

Kate continues going through a box, and looking up, she sees Gibbs holding a picture and smiling.

"What's that?"

"Oh, it's a little picture of Kelly. It was in this little lunch box of hers with one of her dolls."

Kate puts her arm around him. "She certainly was beautiful."

"Yes, she was." He holds up the little doll. "This doll was one of her favorites. Hardly a day ever went by that she didn't play with it."

She slightly squeezes him. "Honey, you don't have to throw these things away."

"Oh, I don't plan to, not these." He squeezes her back.

Their moment is interrupted by the realtor's voice as she escorts Fornell to the basement.

"First, my wife. Now, my house?," Gibbs asks, puzzled, looking up at Fornell.

"No. No, I learned my lesson. I'm through with your leftovers."

Gibbs and Kate both grin.

"I'm gonna go make some coffee," Kate says, moving away from Gibbs. "Would you like some, Agent Fornell?"

"Uh, no thank you." He turns his attention back to Gibbs. "You're gonna need a bigger box for that boat," Fornell says as he descends the stairs.

"You come all the way out here to give me packing tips, Tobias?"

"Actually, I came to tell you that Petty Officer Derrick Paulson escaped from prison yesterday."

Kate stops just outside the basement door as she hears Fornell's statement.

"No," Gibbs says after a slight pause.

"I haven't asked you anything yet."

Gibbs goes on packing as if trying to ignore Fornell's prodding. Kate very discreetly peeks around the corner.

"You caught him last time. Figured you might like to catch him again."

"You thought wrong."

Kate rolls her eyes as she hears Gibbs's statement and she prepares to head for the kitchen.

"He came to see me, Jethro, when I was with Emily."

Kate stops short in her tracks once again and she continues to listen to the unfolding conversation.

"Is she okay?"

"For now. He just wanted to tell me that I got the wrong man and strongly suggested that I reopen his case to prove it."

"He's risking a lot for something he knows can't happen."

"You think… I don't know what his game is, but I'm not gonna get a good night's sleep until that - is back behind bars."

"You don't need me to find him."

"Need? A convicted killer was two inches from my daughter! Handing her crayons, he touched her!"

Gibbs ducks his head.

"We're way beyond need, Jethro." He backs off.

"Nice tan." He turns and leaves.

As Fornell takes his leave, Kate goes back down into the basement.

"I think you should help him, Jethro."

"Kate…"

"Jethro, there is a child involved here! How would you feel if the shoe were on the other foot? What if it were you and Kelly that Paulson approached, or you and our child?" She pauses slightly. "Fornell and his little girl need your help and you can help them!"

Gibbs stares at her in silence.

Kate throws her hands up in the air. "You know what? Just forget it!" She storms off, but stops halfway up the stairs and looks over at him. "You know, perhaps you should think of somebody else besides yourself!"

Gibbs stares at her in shock as she storms the rest of the way up the stairs and disappears.

…...

"I just don't know what to do, Mom," Kate says, crying.

"I know, Baby. I know. It's hard."

"I thought for sure he would feel differently about things once he had a chance to think about it and let his emotions settle down, but he doesn't. He seems so sure that this is the right thing to do, but I know…it…"

"Baby girl, listen to me for a minute. I'm gonna ask you something and I want you to tell me the truth."

"Okay."

"What is this really all about?"

"What? I-I don't understand."

"What is really bothering you? Is it that you really feel this is the wrong choice or is it something more?"

"I don't know, Mom."

"I think you do know, but you just don't want to admit it."

"Mom…"

"I'm serious. Why won't you tell him how you really feel about this?"

"Because I'm afraid!… On one hand, I think it's a mistake for him to leave NCIS, but on…" She breaks down with forceful sobs.

She inhales deeply to try and regain composure. "On… On the other hand, I-I don't want him to go back because… Mama, I don't want to lose him!" She breaks down, sobbing and shaking.

"It's okay, Baby. Just let it out…" Her mom sniffles.

"I don't want to lose him, Mama!… I'm afraid if he goes back, the same thing could happen again… or something else could happen and… and I could lose him… I want him to go back, and yet I don't want him to go back."

"I know… And it's natural to want to protect our loved ones and keep them safe, and it's also natural to want to protect ourselves from the pain of losing them… But sweetie, you know it doesn't always work."

"Yeah…I know."

"Yes, I know with you two being in the line of work you're in, your chances of being hurt or killed are higher than say a cashier at your local grocery store. But I think you also know that you could just as easily go to the grocery store for a gallon of milk and then, get in a car wreck on the way home and be seriously hurt or killed."

"Yeah."

"But what really matters is how you live each day that you have. No one but The Good Lord Himself knows everything that will happen from day to day, and living in fear of what will happen from one moment to the next is no way to live. In fact, that's not really living, that's only existing and we were made for more than that."

"Thanks, Mom… I really appreciate it."

"And one more thing. Don't get mad at him for not knowing how you feel if you're not willing to tell him. He's not a mind reader. From what you've told me earlier, I think he can sense something is bothering you, but he can't know exactly what it is if you don't talk to him about it."

Kate ducks her head. "Yeah… You're right."

"Okay, I love you, baby girl."

"I love you, too, Mom." She sniffles.

"I'll be praying for you both."

"Thanks."

"Get some rest and let me know how everything goes."

"I will."

"Bye, sweetie."

"Bye, Mom."

Kate ends her phone call, then curls up and lays down on the sofa, then drifts off to sleep.

…...

A little while later, Kate feels a gentle shaking.

"Huh-what?"

"Hey," Gibbs says in a soft and gentle tone.

"Oh, hey… I must have… I must have dozed off," she says, groggy.

"Well, you were tired."

"Yeah, I guess so," she says, sitting up.

He sits down next to her. "I, uh… I called Fornell, and I'm gonna go see the Director in the morning and see if she'll temporarily reinstate me to catch this guy."

Kate nods her head. "Good."

She ducks her head and then, looks back up at him. "Honey, I'm really sorry I blew up at you, and I… It was inexcusable."

He takes her hand in his. "No, Sweetheart. You were right. I was feeling sorry for myself, and I…"

"Well, I shouldn't have said it the way I said it. I'm sorry."

He takes her in his arms and kisses the side of her head. "It's okay."

"I love you."

"I love you, too." He breaks the hug. "I don't know about you, but I'm starving."

"Yeah, I am."

"Let's go get something to eat."

"That sounds good."


	2. Chapter 2

**Author's Note:** _This contains actual dialogue from the episode, 4.02 Escaped._

It's the next night. Fornell, Gibbs, and Kate make their way into Emily's bedroom.

"When I told Emily you two were staying over, she insisted at least one of you take her room. She even said you could sleep with her Raspberry Rumtart doll."

Kate chuckles and sits down on Emily's bed.

"So, it was four wives. Unless there's anything else you want to tell me."

"Something you want to know, Tobias?"

Fornell sits down by the window. "You had a family, Jethro. I know you like to play it close to the vest but… Heck, I was married to your second wife."

"I tried to warn you," Gibbs says, sitting down next to Kate on the bed.

"I know, I know. I didn't listen. If I did, I might still have a house with a guest room for you."

Gibbs and Kate both grin.

Fornell reaches out and takes three little juice boxes off a shelf and tosses two to Gibbs and Kate.

"I know it's not our usual stuff."

They all hold up the juice boxes as if making a toast.

"So, we screwed up."

"Let's wait and see what Abby says."

"We screwed up. Big time. I'm sure it wasn't the first time, and I know it's not gonna be the last."

"My last."

Hearing Gibbs's statement, Kate turns her head, trying to suppress a frustrated look. She sets her juice box on Emily's nightstand and then, looks over at Fornell.

I'm gonna borrow your bathroom," she says, getting up from the bed.

"Sure, go right ahead."

Kate waddles into the bathroom, turns on the light, and closes the door. She grips the sink and looks at herself in the mirror.

She flashes back to the phone conversation she had with her mother the previous day. "And one more thing. Don't get mad at him for not knowing how you feel if you're not willing to tell him. He's not a mind reader…"

"But how do I tell him?," she thinks to herself.

She knows everything her mother said to her is the truth, but she still finds herself unsure of how to bring it up. She'd always considered herself to be a strong and courageous person, but since Gibbs's accident, she has felt anything but strong and courageous.

She folds her hands. "Lord, I need wisdom."

…...

The next night, Kate is putting on a pot of coffee at home when she hears a knock at the front door.

"Director," she says, slightly surprised, upon opening the door. "Please, come in."

"Thank you."

"I was just making some coffee. Would you like a cup?"

"Oh, no thank you. I can only stay a minute. I just came by to talk to Gibbs and let him know that Derrick Paulson has been cleared."

"Oh, good. He'll be glad to hear it. I can't believe the guy's own grandfather did this to him."

"I know, me either."

"Well, Gibbs is down in the basement if you want to talk to him."

"Come with me. I think you should hear this, too."

"Sure," Kate says, puzzled, and follows along behind Jenny to the basement.

"I just came by to tell you that Derrick Paulson has been cleared of all charges," Jenny says, walking toward Gibbs. "You saved that boy's life."

"He did most of the work."

"Don't sell yourself short. Or is it too late for that?"

"This supposed to be some sort of pep talk to get me to stay, Jen?"

Jenny smiles slightly, but doesn't respond.

"You don't want me back," Gibbs says, breaking the silence.

"No, I don't."

"Worried you won't be able to handle me, Director?"

"No, Jethro. I'm afraid you won't be able to handle yourself. You've already been in two comas. You might not come out of a third. The fact is, you're good. The best. When you're as good at something as you are, when you can make a difference like you can, you just don't quit."

Jenny turns to leave. She reaches out for Kate's hand, squeezes it, and smiles as she walks by her.

There's a slight moment of silence as Jenny disappears out of sight.

"She's right, you know."

He looks up at her.

"I've kept quiet about it all summer, but I believe it would be a huge mistake for either one of us to leave NCIS."

"All summer? What do you mean?"

"I've had a knowing deep in my heart all along that this was a big mistake,… but I never said anything." Her eyes begin welling up with tears.

He gives her a puzzled look.

"Honey, I know you've been through heck, and I know what happened with Pin-Pin Pula was terrible, but it wasn't your fault. You did the very best you could. That's one of the things I love most about you. You put your whole heart into everything you do."

He ducks his head and grins.

"And I know it's tough when things don't turn out the way you want them to, and when they don't, it doesn't mean you're a failure. And the time will probably come some day when you need to turn in your badge and retire, but let it be for the right reasons…not like this."

Gibbs stands up, walks over to her, and takes her hands. "Why didn't you say something before now?"

"I was afraid."

"Of what?"

"That you would actually go back to NCIS and this happening again or something else happening to you. I want you to go back, but yet, I don't want you to because I…I don't want to lose you… When you were lying in that hospital bed, it was agony not knowing if you would make it or not, and I didn't want to face that possibility again. But as a wise person once told me, living in fear of what could happen from one moment to the next is no way to live; in reality, that's just existing and we were made for more than that."

He looks down, squeezes her hands, and looks back up at her. "You're right… I guess I was afraid, too. Afraid of failing… Afraid of letting people down… I was so blinded by my own feelings that I didn't even consider how this would affect you… I'm sorry."

She embraces him. "It's okay, Darling. It really is, and I do understand." She breaks the hug. "And remember, we are never alone. We have God, we have each other, our family, our friends…"

He squeezes her hands. "I'll call the Director and let her know we're staying."

She embraces him tightly as tears stream from her eyes. "I love you."

"And I love you."

They pull back slightly and share a peck on the lips, and hug again.

"Oh… Oh my goodness." Kate quickly pulls away.

"What's wrong?"

"Oh, nothing," Kate says, holding the side of her stomach. "The baby is kicking," she says, grinning from ear to ear.

Gibbs puts his hand where Kate's hand was.

"Yeah," he says, smiling proudly.

"Maybe this is the baby's way of letting us know he or she approves."

"Maybe," he says, still smiling.

They hug tightly once again.

…...

"It's been a long day," Kate says, yawning, as Gibbs climbs into bed next to her. "But it's been a good day."

"Yes, it has," Gibbs agrees. He looks over at her. "Are you sure you want to go ahead and go back this close to baby time?"

"I'm sure."

"Okay." He raises up slightly, and kisses her. "Goodnight."

"Goodnight."

After a slight pause, Kate opens her eyes and very slightly looks in Gibbs's direction without turning her head.

"Honey?"

"What?," he asks without opening his eyes.

"Let's get a pizza."

Gibbs opens his eyes and looks over at Kate with raised eyebrows. "What?"

"I said let's get a pizza," she says, smiling innocently at him.

"Very funny, Kate," he says, thinking she's kidding. "It's 2:00 in the morning and you said yourself it's been a long day. Goodnight." He turns his head and closes his eyes.

She scoots closer to him and nuzzles him in the neck.

"Please, Honey?" She kisses him on the cheek and then nuzzles him some more. "It's Saturday, so we can sleep in." She kisses him again. "Please?"

He cuts his eyes over and looks at her. "And you say I'm bad?"

She chuckles.

He relents. "Alright.," he says, sitting up. "There's a frozen pizza in the freezer. Will that do?"

"Sounds great," she says with an innocent grin.

Gibbs starts walking out of the bedroom with a smirk on his face and shaking his head. "Aye aye aye aye aye."

THE END

©2014 By Jeanniefan78/April*No part of this story may be performed or reproduced in any way, in whole or in part, without prior written consent of the author.

*All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. Some characters and plot are the property of the author. The author is in no way associated or affiliated with the owners, creators, cast, crew, or producers of NCIS or any media franchise. This is strictly for fan enjoyment only. No copyright infringement is intended.


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